Dating a man whose divorce is not final

06 May

My male friends seemed to get how to behave naturally, while I’ve wanted, at times, to knock on woman-skulls to see if anybody was home.

Here’s what men seem to know that women don’t about how to treat a man going through a divorce: 1) You have to choose us.

“That’s cool,” I said, as if what he’d said was no big deal. When I questioned her way of going about it, she said to me, “you seem to be just fine, like you’re moving on, but it seems like she needs a friend.” Filled with rage and wanting to cry, I said, “Oh, OK, I get it now. Being the least gossipy of the gossipers, I had been irked recently when one of the members accused me, in a subtle and perhaps unaware way, of causing her problems for having gossiped.

Enraged from my conversation with R., I sent an email to P., one of the members of my group, copying A. In it, I accused her of being as gossipy as other gossipers.

In either case, the innocent spouse is mostly likely in a state of emotional turmoil and vulnerability.

Most people going through a divorce, even when it is not their fault and even when they have biblical reasons, are usually shattered by the circumstances and not in any frame of mind to be “dating.” People don’t usually make good decisions while “on the rebound.” For a still-hurting divorced person or someone in a painful divorce process to be dating is neither wise nor prudent.

While I was at it, I decided to tell her all the things I would gossip about her were I a gossiper.

This was not done very nicely, as you might imagine.

That is, the innocent spouse has been abandoned by his/her unbelieving spouse or has been cheated on by an unrepentant adulterer.

Can I start dating, or do I have to wait until the divorce is final?

" Answer: The question of dating during the divorce process is difficult to answer for several reasons.

In addition, no matter what view one takes on the issue of divorce, it is important to remember Malachi : “‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel” (NAS).

According to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6). There are three situations in which dating during the divorce process might occur.