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If they like you back on an equally superficial level, you get a notification and can start chatting.

I matched with Charismatic Dog Man, Hot Greek Man and Nice Beard Man, which was flattering, and made me feel like I’d won at a game I didn’t know I was playing.

Fully primed, and in need of a distraction, I download the app and check out my recommendations.

I’m not sure how many of men on there realise that the app uses your Facebook profile picture as a default, as I quickly spot several who appear to posing with wives or girlfriends. That aside, it turns out I’m really very good at making superficial judgments about people based on very little.

But after much agonising (by which point, both the men in question had moved on to less neurotic Tinderers) I decided I was being irrational – whether you meet someone online, in a bar or through friends, how are you ever going to really know why they’re there beforehand?

Anyway, unlike traditional online dating, Tinder is meant to be a fuss free, quick and simple to meet new people, and I’d turned it into a long-winded palaver.