Gay dating 101

30 Mar

That’s right, girl guides, even succumbed to the magical thinking that affected so many of our mothers, who believed the H1Z1 virus would naturally run its course and turn our fathers back into the nurturing human beings they’d mostly been. But that doesn’t have to be you, weeping alone in a dark corner, uncomforted by the warm hug of caring friends. But the risk of limb detachment isn’t the number one reason the zombie love of your life won’t offer to hold the door for you. This might sound discouraging but take heart: Your boyzomb hasn’t thought of anything in years.

You can overcome the lure of the love bubble by following one simple rule: girls before ghouls. His mind is a gloppy stew of decayed dendrites, atrophied axons and neutered neurons.

This sort of discretion is unnecessary with a zombie.

You can move him into any position you’d like without mortification.

) Without any further ado, here you go: Hey anyone want a little girl-on-girl culture … Well you’re not gonna get any if you don’t have your pants on. Have you gotten over the giant hurdle of learning how to meet people/women? Are you developing irrational jealousy towards people who are having sex while also feeling stressed out and tense when you think about finding a hookup of your own?

That’s one of many tips Phoenix would like to share with you — how to hit on chicks and get girls to go on dates with you or maybe one day have dinner, eat pizza, meet your mom, and have bang bang bang. Are you now faced with the enormous task of convincing those people/women to stick around — properly? Well, I’ve got several options for meeting your next hookup and although it’s not a definitive list, it should give you some new ideas — or opportunities.”For those of you who want a little guidance in your queer bedrooms, you might find your horoscope can be of aid. ” is a totally valid pick-up line, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

Here’s how it works: You want to take your boyzomb to the slaughterhouse for a very special, 17-day anniversary dinner but it’s also your bestie Tabitha’s birthday. There is much to miss with the zombification of the male population—sparking wit, spirited conversation, even the well-thought-out zinger in the middle of a heated argument—but the loss of old-fashioned courtesy is not one of them. Think of it as the end of awkward pauses at the door.

It might be the truth, it might be a case of grass-is-always-green-itis, but for some women the only boyzomb that will do is the one on another woman’s arm.But once you make it known to them, they’re able to apply themselves accordingly for as long as you require. There’s none of the embarrassment reportedly attached to showing an unzombified human male where it is.According to women’s magazines from the latter half of the twentieth century, few things were more awkward than telling a partner where the clitoris is.As dead creatures with reanimated life, they have no pleasure centers in the prefrontal cortex (or any cortex). When was the last time your boyzomb realized his hand had frozen off? Follow these simple rules for a happy, safe and fun winter. Few things compare with the exhilarating feeling of flying down a hill with the wind in your hair and your honey’s arms around your waist.They don’t eat brains because they enjoy the taste; they eat brains because they’re compelled to. But think twice before indulging in this cold-air thrill.