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The city’s conservatism is mostly harmless, but when it comes to matters of amour, it almost forces lovers to say “So long and thanks for all the fish” and escape to the restaurant at the end of the universe. In reality, the place has changed quite a lot over the years.

It’s almost as if most of the maamaas in Chennai are like Zaphod Beeblebrox, one head solving the Hindu newspaper crossword while the other is busy scanning beaches and parks for any public displays of affection with an extremely critical eye. I mean, 15 years ago, if you had 2 X chromosomes, you wouldn’t be allowed out of your house after 6 pm.

The Northern side of Besant Nagar beach – closer to the Orur Alcott fisherman’s village. Quite a few kidnappings/molestations have happened there in the recent past. Wear rings on the ring finger of the left hand before going to the beach.

Claim to be recently married and act a little offended (just a little) at cop’s invasion of privacy, but commiserate with his overall crusade/struggle against the heinous crime of sitting next to each other on sand without wearing rings/thalis/toerings etc. Additionally create a contact on your mobile phone (preferably girl’s) named “Appa” that actually connects to a close friend who can confirm your “married” status. Sometimes, just acting as if one is dialing that number and handing the phone to the cop is enough to convince him that you are not the typical thiruttu lover case. Ever since Chennai maamas and maamis have started wearing NRI-children-gifted New Balance sneakers and become health freaks, most parks have become way too crowded for couples.

But as Ramsu rightly points out, The Efficient Jalsa Hypothesis states that: So my recommendation to pairs – get together, start a and create a constantly updated encyclopaedia of “safe spots” in this city.

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That place has ridiculous timings – open only for about 2-3 hours a day, only in the afternoons, and is closed on Sunday.

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If you are the types that considers that to be “music”, then I am sorry. The Restaurants Mocha, in Nungambakkam is one of the few coffee shops with reasonably dim lighting and secluded alcoves.

I am not aware of any other non-5-star place with a similar ambience.